When our depravity meets His divinity, it is a beautiful collision.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Air Force: Year One!

On this morning last year, I woke up for the last time (for a while, anyway) with my husband. We got dressed. I swear my legs wouldn't work. In one way I wanted the morning to last forever, but at the same time I wanted the next 6 months to fly. What an awful push and pull of emotions.

We left and went to eat breakfast at IHOP. I kept most of my tears in because I knew I had to be strong. He was the one walking into the unknown. We talked about the future and some about the past. I mostly stared at him because I couldn't believe it was really happening. After we ate I drove him to his recruiter's office, we hugged for a few minutes, shared a kiss, and he walked away.

That was it. There was nothing glamorous about the situation. There was no one last long kiss goodbye in the sunset. There was no soft music in the background. There was nothing but me watching my best friend walk away like he would be back tomorrow. Never have I felt so much pain and emotion all at once. I drove away as quickly as I could. Emptiness. It was almost like I felt nothing, and that is the worst feeling of all. Driving down the road, with no thought in my mind, the tears came. How in the world would I get through this? How does life happen without the one person that makes life?

I made it home, to my parent's house where I would live for the next six months of my life, and I got into bed. I was hoping that I could sleep away the hurt, or at least sleep away the thoughts racing in my mind.

I think about this day last year and it still makes me sad. The feelings and emotions were so strong. I didn't want them there. I didn't want to be sad, but I couldn't make it go away. Isn't that the worst? When something you don't want has taken over, yet nothing can be done to change the situation.

Now, fast forward life for 2 months and we had gotten past one big hurdle. Eight weeks, a handful of letters from him and a letter a day to him, a phone call every week or two if we were lucky, and we made it through. I still can't accurately describe the emotions of my first moment seeing him again. Sheer joy. Ecstatic. Elated. Jumping up and down. Nope, none of it describes the way I felt. Not enough, anyway.

 What a sweet time in my life. So much love and pride all wrapped up into one moment. My husband not only made it through basic training, but he made it out on top. I knew he was awesome, but...did he really accomplish that much???

One of the reasons that I can look back on that time and smile is because we came out on the other side and I saw a completely different side of myself, my husband, and my Jesus. I was strong. Stronger than I ever imagined I could be. No, not physical strength, but a toughness of the heart that let me know I could handle anything with the help of God. I had no choice but to see the faithfulness of God. He took a situation that I just knew I couldn't handle and he made me better because of it.

One year after that awful emotional day, I sit at my computer in my new home and I am happy. Truly. Sure, my husband works long hours sometimes. Today he started 12 hour shifts. He will be doing this for the next week or more. We'll only get 2 or 3 hours together every evening until this is over. BUT...2 or 3 hours is so much better than what we had last year at this time.

Isn't this what life is all about? Looking at my situation and seeing that it could always be worse. I try to look at where I am each day, and if I have things to complain about I remember a time that was worse. I give my thanks to the Air Force for teaching me this valuable lesson. 

Today, I am so very thankful for the Air Force. For what it has taught us, for how it has changed us, and for how it has made us better. I have no idea where we will end up in the next 5 years. Will we continue the Air Force life or will God have new plans for us? I have no idea, but I do know that God will take care of us.

Where do I want to be in 5 years? It doesn't matter, as long as I've got my man by my side and enough money to survive. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

Freedom in Living Each Moment

Has it really been 7 months since I last posted? Back in February I thought April would never arrive, much less September. What a crazy ride this has been.

In just over 2 weeks we will hit the one year mark in Chris's Air Force career. Last year at this time I was dreading each new day, as it was a day closer to loneliness. Today I'm loving each new day as a brand new opportunity to love life and take in every moment.

Chris flew home from California on March 31. I can't remember exactly how it all happened, but his flight was late maybe? I think I've blocked out that memory just because I was so frustrated and wanted him home. I sat at the airport for hours that night just waiting, but everything...and I mean EVERYTHING, was forgotten the second I saw him walking down to meet me. I remember telling all of the other people waiting for their loved ones that my husband was coming home after 6 months away. I was so proud. After Chris and I hugged and kissed I looked around and realized that everyone was watching us. I was slightly embarrassed, but I was loving it. 

Two weeks later we moved to Shreveport on April 24, Chris's birthday. I knew I would love being with Chris again, but I never expected to settle in so quickly, make friends so quickly, and love this place so quickly. Sure, I'd love to travel the world and see new places, but for now, I'm loving every second at Barksdale AFB.

A few weeks after moving to Shreveport, we celebrated my college graduation. Even though I haven't been able to use my degree in journalism yet, I am so proud of the fact that I have that degree. The 5 year road to that degree was not easy, but it sure did have it's fun moments. 

In May we took a trip to Dallas to celebrate Memorial Day. Chris had his first 4 day weekend. I had no idea then how much we would grow to LOVE those weekends. We found delicious places to eat, went to the zoo, and simply took time to soak in each others company. It was a beautiful time.

We celebrated Independence Day together with friends. We spent the evening grilling, eating, and hanging out, and then went to watch fireworks at the Boardwalk. We saw a movie after that, and it was the first time that I truly realized how much God has blessed us by placing us here and placing these friends in our lives.

This summer, between Chris working and my attempt at job hunting, we just took time to live. It's the first time that we've ever had a couple that we truly just connect with. We've spent hours outside playing volleyball, throwing a frisbee, playing video games, getting Sonic drinks, watching movies, laughing...the list goes on. It's the small moments in life that remind me how God has a hand in every detail.

In August we took another weekend trip to Dallas, but this time with Kelsey and Alan. I wish I had video footage of that whole weekend. My husband is so silly and it's one thing that I absolutely love about him. I'm glad that my friends feel the same way. He acted like a fool. I guess we all did. We went to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor and spent a hot and sweaty day waiting in long lines for water slides. Fun, but definitely not the best part of the weekend. We went to the Dallas Museum of Art, and for once in my life, I told myself that I didn't care how unsophisticated we all probably looked and sounded like. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate art, but some stuff is just funny. 

And I'll never forget walking along and hearing my husband whisper, "Did you see WHO that was?" Of course I didn't. I have this horrible habit of not looking at people that I walk by. Chris walked up to the nearest security guard and said, "Was that...." She said, "Yep, it sure was!" I was still clueless, but it was Jon Voigt! That's right. Angelina Jolie's dad. The man that I see on Bill O'Reilly all the time (I made sure to tell him that). The dad from National Treasure. A real live celebrity. We were all starstruck. My husband, who always swore he would never do this, walked up to the man and asked for a photo. I had such a hard time keeping it together. You would swear we were 12 years old in 1998 meeting Hanson for the first time. It was madness. Just one of the sweet moments from the weekend.

On August 30 we celebrated our 2 year anniversary. In a way, it's hard to believe it's been 2 years, but on the other hand, I feel like my life has always included Chris. This summer marks 6 years of knowing and loving Chris.

Last weekend we traveled to Hot Springs, Ar, stayed in a cabin for two nights, and had a blast. Our cabin was super sweet. It was in the middle of a horse pasture. Yes, horses walked up to our back porch every night looking for food. On Saturday morning we went horseback riding up a mountain. It was an incredible experience. After the horseback ride we went on a 7 mile hike up Sunset Trail to Music Mountain. The names sound like they are straight from a game of Candyland. The hike was definitely not as easy as Candyland. I had to take breaks. Lots of breaks. I wish those breaks included meeting Queen Frostine, or I would have even settled for falling into Molasses Swamp. But, nope, we just had our Camelbacks filled with water and felt so hardcore. We found cool rocks to bring home with us. We had sweat dripping down our backs. Lots of it. We made it to the top, gazed off of the mountaintop and made the trek back down. We drove home on Sunday wishing that we could drop everything, move to the wilderness, and live off of the land. I think everyone needs moments like that every now and then. It was a feeling of true freedom.

Today, life is back to normal. I'm sitting at home, hoping, praying, wishing for a job, and Chris is working hard in the hot sun. Actually, today it's beautiful outside. The first breath of fall is in the air. It feels oh so good. I've got Derek Webb playing on iTunes. I've got my dreams. I've got faith in the fact that God knows my every step. He knows exactly where I'll be next year at this time. Hopefully wherever that is it includes my handsome husband, super sweet kitties, and maybe, just maybe, a sweet baby. 

But, for today, for right now, I'm happy. I'm loved.

This is the beautiful collision.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Ask me anything you want!

Go ahead. Ask me anything. :)


Things that you may or may not already know about me

1. I love candy. Chocolate is good, but it's not what I consider candy. I'm talking about the gets stuck in your teeth, sugary-goodness kind. Airheads, Laffy Taffy, Now and Laters, Skittles, Starbursts...yummmmm!

2. I'm a pretty laid back person. I typically don't get overly excited or extremely depressed. Sometimes it comes off the wrong way and people will think that I'm not excited about something that I should be excited about, but it's not that...I just don't show it well. However, when my husband graduated BMT, I showed excitement like never before. I never thought I'd the the kind of girl to jump up and down, but I did!

3. To go along with the previous one, I have a VERY hard time hiding the emotions on my face. If I'm not happy, I can't hide it. If I think you're an idiot, I will have a really hard time not giving you the, "You're an idiot" face. Just ask my husband. ;)

4. I really like meat so I don't think I could ever be a vegetarian (even though I love veggies, too), however, if I had to choose only one meat to eat for the rest of my life it would be BACON! I really love bacon. It has the ability to enhance any meal.

5. I have a secret obsession with Beyonce and Justin Timberlake. This is really strange for me because I typically like mellow stuff like John Mayer or Jack Johnson. I've suppressed my obsession for a long time and I've never bought their CDs, but when a song comes on the radio I know all of the words and I can't help grooving along with it. 

6. I love to give people gifts. It makes me happy to cheer a friend up, even if the gift was extremely cheap.

7. Cold weather is not my friend.

8. I have 6 siblings and so does my husband. Our children will have tons of aunts, uncles, and cousins and I absolutely LOVE that.

9. If I had all of the money in the world I would travel to every country. I am fascinated by new places and people. 

10. I love airports and airplanes. There is just something about them that makes me feel good. 

11. I'm terrible at keeping up with long distance friends, but only because I hate talking on the phone. This has been a hard adjustment for me with my husband being in Tech School.

12. I don't like groups of people. I would much rather one-on-one friend time over a large group. Less is more in this instance.

13. I really like the color of my hair and I hope I have at least one baby with dark hair. I always thought I'd fall in love with a man who has dark hair, but as I stated in the previous post, you absolutely cannot help who you're attracted to. And my husband is a hunk!

14. I'm not a very motivated person. I have struggled to finish college (in 5 years), but not because I'm not intelligent enough. It's because I'm not motivated enough. 

15. I am not a feminist. I truly do love cooking, cleaning, taking care of babies, loving my husband, crafty things, etc. This doesn't mean that I'm against women in the workplace, I'm simply saying that I love all of my wifely duties and I would be completely content with staying home to raise my babies.

16. I really like movies, but I'm not a movie buff at all. In fact, I can see a movie and if you ask me two months later what it was about, I probably won't remember. The movie has to have a profound impact on me for me to remember it well.

17. I can't sing, but I really wish I could because I love it. Music is my escape. I can't remember what a movie was about, but I can remember most of the lyrics to a song after only hearing it a handful of times.

18. I was never allowed to watch the Simpson's growing up, therefore I hate them now. Ironically, I have gone to the post office twice in the past several months to get stamps and the only kind that they have are the Simpson's. Fabulous. 

19. I care a little too much about what others think of me. I'm always paranoid that someone in my family or my husband's family is mad at me. It's silly, and I know it is, but sometimes the feeling is inescapable.

20. I'm graduating with a degree in journalism in May, but I don't really want to write for a newspaper. I enjoy creative writing much more than news writing, and I really love to edit.

21. Call me an underachiever, but all I've ever really wanted in life was to be married to the man of my dreams and to have babies. I've got the first part taken care of...

22. On our honeymoon, we rented tubes to float down the Guadalupe River. I had an allergic reaction to the tube and the sun burned me to the point of having blisters and purpleish skin (oh, and scabs on the backs of my arms and legs where the tube touched me). We also missed the exit because the owner of the tube place was an idiot so we were out in the sun much longer than we should have been and my husband had to drag me in the tube, plus his tube, plus another tube with an ice chest, back up stream. I cried the whole way back up stream. This was on day 3 of our week long honeymoon. Needless to say, we need a do-over. 

23. I really really really want to go on a cruise.

24. I hate to exercise. It's another one of those things that I have no motivation for. Thankfully, I've never really had to exercise, but I'm afraid that when I have kids it will all be downhill from there.  I'm pretty sure that I'm going to need to find some inner strength and start exercising!

25. I only have a few people that I am really close to, therefore, I am extremely attached to them. I do not easily bare my soul, but these people know me well. My husband knows me best, and my sisters are tied for second. :)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What I've learned in my 22 years... (In no particular order)

1. Time never passes as quickly as I'd like. That is, unless I'm having fun. Then time flies. 

2. Never assume that you know exactly what it's like until you dive in and experience it for yourself. My biggest problem with accepting the military was because of this. I thought I knew all about it, when I really had no idea. 

3. I don't enjoy labels. I'm not a republican or a democrat. I just believe what I believe and know my position on certain topics. Same goes for religion. I don't enjoy denominations, I just know that I love Jesus and that he saved me. 

4. I am much happier when I don't worry about what others think of me.

5. Everyone will let you down at some point. It's ok. 

6. Life is about trial and error. If I mess it up, I can fix it. If I can't fix it, I can learn to live with it. 

7. Babies and puppies. It's where happiness lies. 

8. You absolutely can't help who you're attracted to. Love does not lie in appearance, but the heart. 

9. Having a schedule is wonderful, but spontaneity is better.

10. I do not have to have what everyone else has. It will not make me happy.

11. Never burn bridges. You never know when you'll cross paths with that person again. 

12. Words of affirmation mean the world to me. I always assume that it does the same for everyone else. 

13. I will always have differing opinions with someone. It's not the end of the world and it's ok to tell them that.

14. Friends come and go, but family is always around and ready to love.

15. Being married really is just as wonderful as I always dreamed. 

16. Me and cold medicine...we are not friends. 

17. Writing frees my soul.

18. Every country and every land is beautiful in its own way. Sometimes beauty lies within the unseen. 

19. My sisters have taught me most of what I know.

20. Life is as good or as bad as you make it. It's how I choose to look at every situation that makes all of the difference in the world.

21. Math and Science do not mix well with English, Grammar, or Writing. It's true.

22. My husband loves me more than any other woman in the entire world. I can be confident in this. 

Thursday, February 4, 2010

We'll keep marching on

Some days all you can do is just keep marching on. 

I know this first hand.

Some days getting out of bed is tough.

I do it anyway.

Some days I feel nothing.

I just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching on. 

Love is a funny thing...especially when you love someone you can't be with. I wake up some days with no motivation and no reason to get going, other than making it through the day and onto the next. And the next. And the next. Until April 1, when I'll be with my husband again.

When Chris was in Basic Training I counted down the days. 

Day 1, 55 to go. 

Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. We're marching on. We're marching on.

Day 12, 44 to go.

Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. We're marching on. We're marching on.

Day 45, 11 to go.

Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. We're marching on. We're marching on.

I praise God every day that we made it through those 56 days, but I still find myself putting one foot in front of the other and just making it through the day. 

OneRepublic has a song that I recently found that I absolutely love called "Marching On". 

For this dance we move with each other
There ain't no other step
Than one foot
Right in front of the other

There's so many wars we fought
There's so many things we're not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We're marching on
We're marching on  

We've got 55 days to go until this is over. Some days it feels like we've gone to war. We fight so hard to make it through. Sometimes we struggle to to keep our heads above the water.
This experience has taught us so much. I've found more strength in myself than I ever imagined. When days get tough I'll just keep telling myself to keep marching on...

Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. Right, right, right, right, left. We're marching on. We're marching on.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Five and a half years behind us and a lifetime to go

Here is a glance back on the last five and a half years with Mr. Hudson in my life. 



We met in 2004 at the age of 16 while working at a summer camp. It was love at first sight on his part, not so much on mine. He was persistent, though. He pursued me until I gave in, but it definitely didn't take long for me to realize that he was the love of my life. 

These pictures are from that summer. We were young. We were free. We were loving every minute of life. 


All of the summer staffers at camp decided to sneak out and have a night of fun with golf carts, flashlights, scary basements, graveyards, and so much more that I will never divulge for the wonderful world wide web to read. Let's just say...we were never caught!


One year later, in 2005, was my graduation from high school. I'm still amazed at how young and small we were! This was a happy time in my life and I was happy to share it with my sweetheart.


Summer of 2005 after my 5 week mission trip to Thailand. We spent a few days with my family at my Uncle's cabin. My sister snapped this candid shot where we were supposed to have our serious faces, but of course, I couldn't hold it together!


One year later, in 2006, was his high school graduation. He had shaved his head a few months before and his hair was still in the process of growing out. :)


The Natchitoches Christmas Festival in 2007, just a few months before our engagement.


March 17, 2008. The day Chris asked me to marry him! 


Our wedding day on August 30, 2008. I married the most wonderful man on earth. My prince!




New Years Eve 2009 at my brother's house. Marriage is a beautiful thing. :)

Our first Valentine's Day as a married couple! We spent the weekend in New Orleans and had SO MUCH FUN!


Summer picnic, 2009. This was just a few months before Chris left for BMT.


Celebrating one beautiful year of marriage! August 2009 in Biloxi, MS.


Saying goodbye for a while. Air Force going away party, September 2009.


BMT graduation in November 2009. A very, very happy time in life. 


Christmas Exodus...my love was home for two weeks!!! 

Looking back on the past five and a half years is always exciting, but it's even more exciting to know that we've got the rest of our lives to love and fully live!  



Saturday, January 30, 2010

10 little blessings

I've loved babies for my entire life. I would ask for baby dolls every Christmas and birthday. My bed time routine was to put every single doll and stuffed animal that I owned in the bed with me, while managing to save a little space for me to squeeze into. 
I thought babies were the cutest creatures on earth (and I still do).
When I was 11 years old my first nephew was born. Since then, I've been called Aunt Sarah by 10 beautiful children. Sometimes I feel like I should have earned the title of mom by now. At least I feel very well prepared for my own children after all of the munchkins running around me constantly. 
Today I am writing about 10 little (and some not so little anymore) blessings in my life.

Alyssa is my oldest sister's first child and she is now 10 years old. It feels like yesterday that my first niece was born and I was thrilled beyond belief. She was the cutest baby girl with chubby legs, dark black hair, and a huge smile. She has grown up to be a beautiful and brilliant young lady. Alyssa is gifted in piano and learns things very quickly. She's got a goofy sense of humor and is sometimes a little clumsy, yet, she still manages to be an excellent soccer player. Alyssa works hard to be the very best at everything she does. She is dedicated and persistent and never fears competition. She will grow up to be an excellent mom because she has been a huge help to her own mom with her little brothers and sister.


Eight year old Benjamin is my sister's second child and he is the prime example of a middle child. His sense of humor is his most charming quality and he can make me laugh on a daily basis. He was born with a love for birds...all birds. Ever since I can remember, he has said he wants to be an ornithologist when he grows up. Yes, he uses that term and it means "bird man" in simpler terms. Penguins, flamingos, blue jays, wrens; he loves them all. A few years ago he decided that he was a genius and gave his family "genius lessons" every Monday afternoon. I am Aunt Alfred to Ben, and he is Leroy to me. Ben's greatest quality is that he is so comfortable in his own skin that he never just goes with the crowd. If he doesn't want to do something, he is perfectly fine being alone. He is tender-hearted and LOVES his mom who is also his best friend. (He tells me that I'm his best friend, too)


Abigail is 2 years old, going on 35. She is completely independent and follows her own rules. Her role model and best friend seems to be her big brother Ben and she is strong competition in the humor department. Her smile is contagious, but when she is angry you would rather be a few miles away because she is REALLY angry. She speaks very well and seems older than she really is because of that. She recently informed her mom that when she is 3 and a half she will lose her teeth just like the blue shark. She is fierce and will definitely make a name for herself in the world!


Christopher is my sister's baby boy. He is 18 months old and absolutely precious. Just like his big brother, he is completely in love with his mom. He has the most precious smile and laugh and is always willing to flash it for the camera. He is capable of making all animal sounds, yet he chooses to just say "moo" for every animal. He enjoys being a big boy and trying to claim every toy before his big sister. I know that one day he will work hard to protect her, though.


Joshua is my oldest brother's son and he is my oldest nephew at 11 years old. He has always had the sweetest and most gentle spirit. When he was a baby he had all of my attention with his sweet, round baby face and his love for all things Mother Goose. Art is his passion and he loves creativity. He is extremely efficient with a pencil in his hand. Drawing, writing, homework...he loves it all. His favorite subject in the 5th grade is spelling, just like his Aunt Sarah. He was recently chosen to be in the Louisiana state children's choir, so it may be unnecessary to say that he loves to sing. Josh enjoys hanging out with his dad and aspiring to be just like him.   


Jacob is Joshua's only little brother. At 8 years old, he often has the personality of someone much older. He can sit with any adult and feel completely comfortable with holding an adult conversation with them. He not only answers questions from adults, but he initiates his own conversations and questions with them. Jake loves to sing and dance. If it's music from the Disney channel, he loves it. He can be found at nearly any moment of the day with a song coming out of his mouth. Jacob is a helper. He enjoys doing things to help out and typically doesn't complain about it. He is strong-willed and pretty independent and has no trouble leading others. He is a math whiz in school and cousin Ben is his best friend.


Devin is my brother Stephen's oldest son. He is 8 years old with blond hair and beautiful blue eyes. He was a baby during my high school years and he stayed with us a lot. I remember rocking him to sleep and me falling asleep with this sweet baby boy in my lap. Devin has grown up to be a very unique boy. He can be incredibly sweet and sometimes shy, but when he is around the people that he knows and loves he is a huge talker and jokester. He loves feeling important and showing his little brother how to do things. He is tough and strong and does really well in school.


Mason is Devin's only little brother. At 6 years old he has grown to LOVE Michael Jackson's music. He can always be found carrying his MJ cd, ready to sing and dance. He is the spitting image of his dad, just with darker skin. He loves his Pawpaw's hot rods and can name cars that I've never even heard of. He befriends anyone and his favorite subject at school is art and recess. He loves being around grown-ups and often follows the big people around. He is active and and can "run faster than Devin". Mason is loving and affectionate and always greets me with a big hug.


Two year old Tucker is my brother Jon's oldest son. He is precious with dark hair and big blue eyes and just like his shirt says in this picture, he is fast as lightning. He has a way of making me feel important every time I see him. It's as if he hasn't seen me in years. He freezes, gasps, his eyes get big, and he jumps up and down. Even if I just saw him yesterday, he always does this. He is a firecracker and LOVES to jump and run. He has an obsession with Yo Gabba Gabba and I'm convinced that it's because of the weird techno music on the show. If I do something fun that he really likes, he looks at me, holds up his pointer finger, and politely says, "One more!" (But he really means one more, and one more, and one more, and so on...) Tucker is a ball of fun and rarely gets upset. 


Tarver is 6 months old and is affectionately called "Tar-Tar" by his big brother Tucker. He has gorgeous, big blue eyes that are very prominent on his face. He is one of the sweetest babies I've ever been around. He is always ready to smile and is learning to do new things every day. He will be sitting up and crawling around soon so that he can keep up with his super fast big brother. 

And there you have it. Ten precious blessings in my life. I've accumulated so many of these munchkins that I'm beginning to have trouble remembering birthdays for the little ones, but they will always be extremely special to me. I know that God has given me each one, with all of their distinct personalities, to help prepare me for my own sweet babies in the future!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Praising God for His blessings

I'm finding it hard to make time to post a new blog every day, but I'm trying my hardest to keep up with it! School keeps me busy and when I'm not in class I'm usually trying to chat with my husband for a while every night.

Last week I was presented with the opportunity to travel to the Dominican Republic with a medical mission team. I don't really know anyone on the team, but I did not hesitate to agree to go! I will be going as a student journalist with the tasks of blogging, writing news articles, taking photographs, and filming. I already have a feeling that this experience will shake my world up a little (or a lot!).

I am beyond thankful for the experiences that God has allowed me to have in my 22 years of life, and this is one more experience that will change me to the core.

I will be on a team of 14 and we will fly into the Dominican Republican and drive to the Haitian border. We will not actually be in Haiti, but in Jimani, a border town. Haitians from Port Au Prince are being allowed to cross the border into the Dominican Republic to receive medical care. The infrastructure of Port Au Prince is devastated and crumbling and this has caused the people to evacuate and seek help elsewhere.

Many of the details of the trip have not been worked out yet. We will have Disaster Relief training next Saturday and we will hopefully learn more of the details as the trip draws nearer.

I'm nervous, but only because I want God to shine through my writing. This will be the biggest journalistic task that I've ever had. I want my writing to be all about what God has done and is doing in my life and in the Haitian people.

At the end of my life, I will be able to look back and praise God for all of the opportunities that he has given me in my life. This experience is sure to be on my list of praises.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Blessing #2

I know you are probably all expecting my second blessing to be something serious and life changing, similar to yesterday, but today my answer is...


Please know that these blessings are in no particular order. I'm not more thankful for ice cream than I am for my mom or my education. No, that's not it. I just love ice cream and I just had some and it really makes me happy.

Growing up we ALWAYS had ice cream in our house. My dad is the ice cream king. I recall nearly every night hearing the bowl and spoon being pulled out of the cabinet and I knew...it's dad's ice cream time again. 

It's just a simple pleasure in life that makes me smile.

I plan on giving my kids ice cream every night too...or at least once a week!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Blessing blog #1

Beginning today, I will be blogging a blessing for every day until my husband is home again. I have noticed that I tend to focus on all of the negative things in life when I have so much to be thankful for. This doesn't mean that you will never hear me complain about missing my husband, but hopefully I will be able to reflect on blessings in the midst of my loneliness.

I am blessed to have a husband with the ability to work. In the midst of the economic crisis that America is in, it is no easy task to find a job. I am thankful that my husband is able to work so that I don't have to right now. I am able to fully focus on my last semester of school instead of worrying about finding time to balance school, a job, family, friends, etc.

Chris has always had a good work ethic. He has always put providing for our family as a priority and has taken care of me more than I could have ever wished for. The Air Force has been a blessing simply because for the next 6 years we will not have to worry about employment or where our money will come from.

I am blessed!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Needed a reminder

I did not expect to write a blog tonight at 3 a.m., but I am sitting here waiting for a DVD of Chris's graduation to burn and I cannot help but write about it.

My day was rough. It started out alright. I went to a birthday party for my nephews, Joshua and Jacob. I'm usually fine if I am with other people. My mind is occupied. After the party I was just upset. No reason why, other than feeling lonely again. It's difficult to go home (my parent's home) without someone to go home to. I talked to Chris, but he was frustrated with me because I've been so down lately. I know it's hard on him to see me unhappy. He feels like he is to blame.

He's not.

I've just had trouble getting motivated to live my life fully these days. After talking to Chris for a long time tonight, I feel much better than I have all week long. I miss him...always. But I'm finally starting to feel like I can live again.

Tonight I got the urge to get out my new video camera and try to copy the videos onto DVD for the first time. Who knew this was exactly what I needed? I went through all of Chris's BMT graduation videos and watched and edited them.

I cried.

I was reminded what this struggle is all about. I saw the accomplishment in my husband's eyes and remembered that this was his dream. I am here and he is in California for a purpose. Serving the people of America was his goal...the reason he became an Airman.

The very first video was of the Airman's run. Watching it made my heart beat so fast. I was quickly brought back to Lackland AFB, standing on the side of the street, anxiously waiting for the the one that I had waited 8 and a half weeks for to run by.

Proud is an understatement. I was beyond proud. 

I am still very proud of my husband. What he is doing is no easy task. He is putting life on hold so that he can train in order to protect our country. He misses home. He misses family. He misses me. He is willing to sacrifice all of that to be in the United States military. Not everyone can do that.

Seeing his face and his smile in those videos made me remember how important my sacrifice is too. It isn't easy being an Airman's wife, but I wouldn't trade it for one second! I love my husband and my support is important to him. I will forever be grateful for the sacrifice he has made to better our nation and our family.

Sometimes I just need a little reminder.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I hold it all when I hold you

Sixteen years old, sitting in the passenger seat with the love of my life behind the wheel. Nowhere to be, nothing else on my mind. Being together was all that mattered.

Windows down... freedom, and a song on the radio.

when memories fade
we've got each other
when time and confusion collide
singin' i hold it all when i hold you 

when friends walk other ways
we've got each other
i hold it all when i hold
i hold it all when i hold you

we fell on hard times
this isn't the ideal
we're miles from home
doing the best that we can (best that we can)

i won't do this without you
i won't do this without you
so take heart...
'cause you know that you have mine

and it feels like we could last forever
and i'm not doing to do this alone 

It was our song.

I had no idea that the words would mean even more to me throughout the years.   

I'm not doing this alone and that keeps me going. I love you Chris Hudson. You are the only one for me.

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