When our depravity meets His divinity, it is a beautiful collision.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Needed a reminder

I did not expect to write a blog tonight at 3 a.m., but I am sitting here waiting for a DVD of Chris's graduation to burn and I cannot help but write about it.

My day was rough. It started out alright. I went to a birthday party for my nephews, Joshua and Jacob. I'm usually fine if I am with other people. My mind is occupied. After the party I was just upset. No reason why, other than feeling lonely again. It's difficult to go home (my parent's home) without someone to go home to. I talked to Chris, but he was frustrated with me because I've been so down lately. I know it's hard on him to see me unhappy. He feels like he is to blame.

He's not.

I've just had trouble getting motivated to live my life fully these days. After talking to Chris for a long time tonight, I feel much better than I have all week long. I miss him...always. But I'm finally starting to feel like I can live again.

Tonight I got the urge to get out my new video camera and try to copy the videos onto DVD for the first time. Who knew this was exactly what I needed? I went through all of Chris's BMT graduation videos and watched and edited them.

I cried.

I was reminded what this struggle is all about. I saw the accomplishment in my husband's eyes and remembered that this was his dream. I am here and he is in California for a purpose. Serving the people of America was his goal...the reason he became an Airman.

The very first video was of the Airman's run. Watching it made my heart beat so fast. I was quickly brought back to Lackland AFB, standing on the side of the street, anxiously waiting for the the one that I had waited 8 and a half weeks for to run by.

Proud is an understatement. I was beyond proud. 

I am still very proud of my husband. What he is doing is no easy task. He is putting life on hold so that he can train in order to protect our country. He misses home. He misses family. He misses me. He is willing to sacrifice all of that to be in the United States military. Not everyone can do that.

Seeing his face and his smile in those videos made me remember how important my sacrifice is too. It isn't easy being an Airman's wife, but I wouldn't trade it for one second! I love my husband and my support is important to him. I will forever be grateful for the sacrifice he has made to better our nation and our family.

Sometimes I just need a little reminder.


  1. I have been going through this exact thing since June 1st. I get frustrated sometimes because Paul's tech school is so long, but God has taught us so much through this separation. And I'm sure He is teaching you alot. One lesson I learned is to not depend or rely on one person too heavily. God can take the load alot more than any human can. And He is ready and willing to help when you need it most. You WILL get through this and you will come out alot stronger because of it! I love you, girl!!

  2. Thanks Erin! You are always so encouraging!

  3. Im at Barksdale AFB, have been for almost 6 months with mu husband. From what I read on Erins bog your headed here too! If you need any help with anything, have any questions I can try to help! My husband is part of the 96th squadron, but hes working out of the 20th for a while. hes a crewcheif on the b52s. Dont give up your so close to tech being over! Keep your head up!


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